Random Chaos

I’ve decided NOT to let my internet connection go explode after all.

See, I just got some really really bad news—I tried to get my counseling appointment set up and as it turns out, the damn numbers to the center are DISCONNECTED.

And I can’t find anyplace else that isn’t buried hilt-deep (teehee, hilt-deep) in the next state over.

And letting this connection go explode right now seems like the worst idea, because if I do, then I’ll be isolated from the outside world, from people who at least I hope they do actually give a flying fuck about what I have to say and do and being even vaguely social—

And frankly that fucking terrifies me.  I’m shaking now.

So I’m going to go ahead and take care of the internet bill and just sort of pray that things come together in the end, because everything is a moot point if I’m binned again.

EDIT:  Come to find out I don't even have a choice--I'll get hit with late fees if I don't pay TODAY.

I’d like to begin by apologizing for making anyone worry, but I get the feeling that would be rather presumptuous of me.  Just let me do it anyway, though.  I feel like I need to.

I’m sorry.  I’m an idiot, a fool, sometimes drunk, often STUPID, and I’ve got to get things together for many people’s sake, but mostly my own.

There.

Now that that’s done, I have a good (well technically terrible) explanation for my extended absence, and this time it wasn’t work, or lack of sleep, or anything trivial like that.

I might have spent this time in the loony bin.

( Almost verbatim from my loony-bin journal. Except with slightly less cursing. )