*starts Jeannie up*

*lag*

*lag*

*LAG!*

Me: There must be a problem.

*runs task manager*

*checks proccesses*

*notices Spybot is missing*

Me: Dafuq?

( CUE THE TOSCA )

“Urrrrgh!”

On knees like mine, dragging a bunch of solid wood furniture and steel-frame furniture is…probably not the best of ideas. However, that wasn’t going to stop me any time soon: I’d lost track of my Fitbit clip somewhere in the apartment and it was going to bug me until I found it.

Which is why I was dragging and pivoting the bed—I thought it might have fallen back there at some point, and even if it hadn’t, it’s been a while since I cleaned under the bed.

“MOVE, dammit!”

Lift. Shove. Pivot. Squeeeeeze.

Eventually I managed to get it perpendicular to the sofa, which meant I could get at the outlet… and a veritable CAIRN of receipts—I do mean a cairn, too—I got underneath those things and started finding things I thought I’d lost a while back. As I shove them into their proper locations I decide “Well as long as it’s easy to get to I can make the bed before I put it back.

---

AN HOUR LATER

“Urrrrgh! MOVE, dammit!”

The wheelchair is NOT moving in the way I would have liked it to be moving. It’s blocking a chest of drawers AND the bed somehow, and I have to get that thing out of its old location because I will PROBABLY need to access it sometime soon depending on the verdict about my knee. But the thing isn’t moving. So I pick it up.

Remember when I mentioned moving the steel stuff being a bad idea? Yep. The thing takes ten minutes to move,and then it doesn’t even fit where I was planning on putting it? Frak.

---

See, this happens once in a while: my brain gets to me and I manage to somehow lose track of sense, and I have to reconfigure the apartment to make sure that I don’t go nuts. I’d just intended to find my clip, but then…

---

AN HOUR LATER

“Goes. Stays. Goes. Why do I still have this? Stays. Goes. Laundry. HEY, there’s the clip.”

I take a second to put my FitBit on properly and then RESUME dragging the bed. It is now a few inches to the right, and flush against the radiator. An outlet is no longer covered and creating a fire hazard. But now the COUCH is flush with my work chair and the table is…well. calling the space it’s left into ‘small’ would be an understatement. My knees are currently smushed into the tiniest of spaces as I type, actually. But there’s space now, right? Much better!

---

AN HOUR LATER

“Urrrrrgh!”

By this point, I’m more surprised that I’m not hungry again yet than at anything else. I’ve swept, picked up and discarded loads of stuff, swept again, picked up more stuff. MORE SWEEPING, and Oh look! Now I must move the giant tupperware bins of office supplies! FULL OF REAMS OF PAPER!

Drag. Drag. KICK. Drag—STOP

“Wait a minute.”

I open the second bin on a whim and find something I’d been looking for: my checks.

“Huzzah!”

No more spending five bucks on a money order when I need to send money.

Bed’s made, bins are put up, wires are—well, the wires still need a little bit of help…but it’s done now. Bit late for a winter wrap-up, but that’s what we’ll call it.

Now I’m going to SLEEP. I’m exhausted now.

At one point it was straight-up Inception: it began with a kid sleeping in a bed I knew somehow wanted a gift. Suddenly the guy sleeping on the floor springs up—for some reason he's dressed like Luigi. He jumps up and crawls through this vent; the racket woke the kid up and he followed. The tunnel vent comes out in a room full of electric guitars. Kid makes a beeline for a Les Paul and starts jamming.

That was when I thought I woke up. I was in this house, well-decorated. Suddenly KUJA walks past me. I zombie myself awake and follow him to a dining room table, where I grab a bowl of hot cereal. He is discussing a strategy with someone from a DIFFERENT GAME (Kannuki from Bushido Blade): there is some weird...THING outside that needs must be destroyed. It looks like a harmless pink flower wth one too many pistils. So one of us throws the piece pulled off for observation downfield.

On returning inside we see the result of that on a huge active map: in mere hours the place was overrun with GIANT versions of that flower. We go observe: it's full of matching pink fuzz-colored lizards—and we're watching them evolve.

They ate us, of course.

We wake in the house from before, go back to the dining room, strategize. Second attempt: we get et.

Third: we discover that diamonds are toxic to them. Kuja flies off to find one in where the maps read "ISOCU" (Icelandic-Scandinavian Order of Countries United. No it made no sense), where diamonds are native (ACTUAL WORDS).

Then things happen like in Mass Effect: suddenly, VISIBLE DIALOGUE TREES.

Somehow I wind up in an office wielding a housekeeper cart...and it has a diamond. I steal it and return to base.

By this time the flower thing has spread like a cancer. Its weird lizards are now cool-blooded humans.

We lose the fight.
Things reset. Dialogue trees!

Lose. I make my way back through an apocalyptic East St. Louis—for some reason I am a wolf.

Strategize again. Kuja suggests he do a flyover and drop the giant diamond off from the skies.

THIS WORKS. We camp in the house—where we have now successfully stolen cable—until the news says the pink thing is dying off and the lizards are all gone.

...and I get a second bowl of hot cereal.

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